When she says no, she means it.

This is something boys, men don’t still understand. When a woman says no. She means no. She isn’t just being shy. She isn’t trying to pretend. No, she isn’t trying to hide the fact that she secretly likes you or want you to touch her body. She simply doesn’t want you to have sex with you.

Is it right for a guy in a relationship with a girl to not listen when his girlfriend says no to him. When has it been right to forcefully have sex without consent. Even when it’s a relationship or marriage involved.

It isn’t right. It is called Molestation. It is called rape. And Yes, they do happen in a relationship as well as when it involves married couples.

When she tells you no. You try to kiss her then slowly grab her breast. She pushes your hands away. But, you try to to touch her down. She tells you no. You place your body on top of her and try to push youself against her.

How is it so hard to understand that she doesn’t want you to do any of that. Yes. You molested her. You disrespected her. You made her feel like she had no say with her body.

Today, many girls, women are victims of molestation and rape in their relationships and marriages and don’t even know it. We refrain from calling it those names because it’s someone we know. We love. We trust. But, when is it okay for people we love and trust to not respect our bodies, our words. When is it okay to be victims of sexual violation just because it’s not a stranger.

Yes, she trusted you. She was at your place. She is married to you. You live together.

We need to educate ourselves about what is right and wrong.

Most of us stay silent. When we shouldn’t. But what is to be done when such happens.

The difficult question we mostly run away from. Do you leave a spouse, boyfriend that constantly violates you sexually? What do we do when such a thing happens?

In my opinion, it is to leave. Seperate yourself from that person. If you aren’t treated right. Never settle for anything lesser than you deserve.

…………………………..x……………………..

19 Replies to “When she says no, she means it.”

    1. Thanks. I guess it’s highly misjudged. Because most of the time people think when you are in a relationship or in a marriage. There are no choices. It’s something that we must talk about to educate people.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. As a man, I think it is perfectly warranted, if not imperative, for a woman living in fear to leave. Marriage is a union of two INDIVIDUAL bodies and souls. Neither gives up that individuality, even when working for a common goal. That common goal should never be the validation of one, at the expense of the other.
    As for non-marital relationships, I have been told “No”, by women who were not attracted to me, and paid heed to that message. I have SAID “No”, to women to whom I am not attracted, and they have backed off.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes I agree with you totally. I left a bad marriage like that behind. I still suffer bad effects to this day. My husband now is lovely. He would give me the moon if it were possible.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes I had to try twice before I succeeded though. The first time he stalked me begged and pleaded for a year and eventually I gave in. I had been living in a refuge with other abused women and went back. It was OK at first for about 6 months and then he began his old ways, shouting, swearing, punching, kicking, pulling my hair and then he raped me. I ran away to the refuge and then he followed me and tried to apologise. I gave him one chance and he failed. He scared me so much I got the police involved. I got a court order to stop him coming near the house. I moved away completely in the end 200 miles away and that was very difficult but it was worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah. I understand how hard it is. It always end with bringing the police in for safety. You’re a strong woman. Some women don’t even have the strength to move away from such a situation. They get psychologically damaged and they get to the point of acceptance. Just like my mother. Though we had to bring in the police to scare him. She is very adamant to still live with him. So. Yes it takes a lot of strength because not every one is strong enough to walk away.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Good, important, post. Well said.

    It is horrific to think that “Most of us stay silent. When we shouldn’t.” but you are right… most do stay silent. And this post is important to read for all women. Just because you are in a relationship, married, living together, does not give your man rights to violate you sexually. It is NEVER ok. Do not allow it to happen. As you say Grace, we all, all of us women should be able to exercise our right to say no. and “no” should be taken seriously. Don’t allow mistreatment to take place – if your boyfriend/husband does not respect you, how can he ever love you?

    Like

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