This is very serious problem most people face. I have been there too. Being a victim. Confused as to how to react. What do I say to that person? What should I do ? How do I get out of such a scary situation?.
It’s a very stressful scenario because you like the person and don’t want to lose them. You are looking for ways to change their mind. Especially if you are someone that likes to know where you stand in a relationship. When someone says they don’t want to commit, it brings forth so much of negative thoughts and anxiety. You feel like you are bring rejected. When faced with such situation. You should do the following things.
1) Do not think you can change their mind.
This is the common mistake people do when they are faced with a partner that doesn’t want to commit. They think they can change their decision to commit. The answer is no. You cannot. Don’t try to. They will commit when they want to and you cannot make them. So stop thinking about changing their mind.
2) Sex is a no-no.
If you think having sex with someone that doesn’t want to commit to you will help the situation. You are just deceiving yourself. At the end of the day you will feel used and depressed. So stay away from having sex with that person. You don’t want to get more attached to get really hurt later on.
3) Don’t change what you believe in.
If someone says they don’t want to Commit. You must let them be. Yes it would hurt. But don’t try to sacrifice your feelings and emotions because you don’t want to lose that person. Believe in yourself. You want commitment. Stick to it. Don’t try to change that because you are scared you might lose them. Wanting commitment is not a crime. You are not wierd.
4) Move on
Its easier said than done. But it isn’t impossible. Yes the sad truth is you both want different things. It’s best to move on. Find someone who wants a committed relationship just like you do. Leave the no commitment guy or girl. Let them carry that baggage to someone who is willing to go on that journey with them.
5) Don’t be fooled easily.
A person who doesn’t want commitment might like you and still want to be with you. Or some might just want to have sex with you and move on. Make sure you don’t be fooled. There are pretenders that would act like they want to be committed just to have sex with you. So stick to what they told you first. That is, they don’t want a committed relationship. A sudden change shouldn’t make you be fooled. Be careful.
6) Make sure to tell them you are a commitment person.
You must tell them that you can no longer date them because you believe in commitment. You can’t go on that journey with them. And wish them all the best in life.
7) Close that chapter.
Make sure you shut it down Completely. Don’t encourage any behaviour that would make them think you still want them. Be firm. Approach them with a strong mind. Make sure they know that you are a closed chapter. There is no going back.
8) Beware of the line “let’s see where it goes”
You know you are someone who cannot wait any longer. This line doesn’t work for you. Don’t think otherwise. Let’s see where it goes is the most laziest reply anyone can say to you. Tell them you are not willing to see where it goes. You are moving on. Leave them to the next person after you, to carry that baggage.
I hope I have been a little bit helpful. Life is too short to be crying over spilled milk. A person who is scared of committing just doesn’t see you as someone worth having a relationship with. Value yourself enough to not settle for less.