Procrastination has come to an end. First blog post

Is anyone a victim of procrastination? EVERYONE. ME. LOL. I say I want to do so many things but never end up doing it. I’m pretty sure anyone living on this planet called earth has this same disease. Yes, I sometimes think I’m sick because I keep procrastinating about many important things in my life. When I say important things, yes it’s the important things in life we keep at the side accumulating dust in a dark room somewhere at the back of our brain. Yes, a dark room filled with dark secrets. Ha. 

Blogging has been something I have always wanted to do. Thank fully wordpress is helping me bring it to life. I want to share so many experiences, life teachings, mistakes , etc using this platform so that I can help people in some sort of way. To know that they are not the only one going through difficult things and that they can learn from my life, my mistakes, hopefully teach them things that they never could have learnt about different issues. I am someone who gies online to loom for answers when it comes to relationships, love, etc. So hopefully I do the same for people who go online to search for things that they don’t really understand. Trusting that I am able to impact people I’m a positive manner. Not to criticise or judge but to share my world with people all over the world. 

My friend’s possessive boyfriend.

I feel like it has been a while I blogged. Though I know it has just been two days that I didn’t post anything, due to so many latest things happening in my life. But anyways life has been great I guess. 
So, one of my best friends, someone I have been close to for a long while. Upto 4 years, right from the start of college. We have been really tight buddies including  a group of three other close pals. We meet up, have fun, chill at eachothers home, we have had awesome sleepovers and nights out together. That is how close our gang is.  Recently, one of my besties started dating a guy. You could say it is probably her first ever relationship. Yes, I know it is exciting and a beautiful thing to finally meet someone and build a relationship together with that person.

Relationships are amazing and brings the best out of people. But, all I can say is that relationship has changed her. She has gotten so wierd. Her boyfriend is so possessive and controlling that he gets angry when she spends time with us ( Her friends that have been with her before him).


 

When he calls, it doesn’t ring for one second and she rushes to pickup the call. She says he would get angry with her. We have tried telling her that it is wrong allowing him control her life. He gets suspicious of her. Doesn’t trust her. She basically can’t tell him she is spending the day with her friends, he would flip and get jealous or angry. 


Yes such an insecure guy!!! On her birthday, we and her cousins were at her place and helping celebrate her birthday. He fought with her on the call and was so selfish. (she got bitten by a dog that day and when she told him crying on the call explaining why she couldnt talk to him on the call at that moment, all he could say is she was faking it). I seriously don’t understand what sort of person he is. I’m sad that my friend is being taken for granted. We as her friends have tried spelling out this bad behaviour but she is so blinded and manipulated. 

She keeps saying he reads the bible. They pray together. 

But, that doesn’t make his behaviour acceptable. A person who loves you wouldn’t treat you that way. Also, someone who follows God’s way wouldn’t act that way either. 

A relationship is not one way. It has to be two people helping to improve eachother not a fight for control or one dominating the other partner. 

I have never seen her change so much in the span of time she has been with him. Change is okay when it is good but change from good to bad is just not the right kind of change I was expecting. The thing is she says every relationship is not perfect but you have to make it work when you love the person you are with. Yes no doubt, no relationship is perfect but it takes two people to make it work. All I see is one person taking advantage of the other person all in the name of love. The relationship is working all at the cost of her hapiness. I went to her house recently,  she was just talking to him 24/7. She hardly had time to talk to me. She didn’t seem happy. She didn’t eat for 2 days when I stayed at her place. She locked herself in her room. I literally became sheldon from big bang theory when he knocked on penny’s door, the only difference is my penny didn’t respond and just stayed indoor. At some point, I was really scared but felt helpless because her mom and dad weren’t home ( they went on a vacation). 

Now, all I see is someone being oppressed and isn’t strong enough to detach herself from this toxic relationship.

 

As a friend I will try to be there for her and tell her the truth always. But at the end of the day, it is her decision to make. I hope and pray that God gives her the strength to see the truth behind all his lies. It hurts to feel that she is distant. 😦 😦 😦
How does one help a friend in such a situation? Because I want to help her get out of it.  If only she would accept my helping hand.

My addiction to clash of clans. 

Clash of clans is one game that I have been glued to for the past 3-4 months. It’s basically waking up, checking on my clan,retrieving my golds/elixir,taking my troops on a battle mission, clear my village so I could get some gems, make sure to attack a village within my strength, win or lose ( I most definitely love to win lol ), put another set of troops loading, till then I wait. Then the same process again and again.

 

For those who don’t play clash of clans, it might sound boring. Like naahhh. I couldn’t do that. But those who do, yes you guys, you know what the addiction feels like. I tell my friends ( girls and boys included) , I would have thought that this was kind off like a boys dream game. Like go kill some people, steal some golds,  destroy a village….. pretty badass right?  But to some of my guy friends. They don’t get my addiction. They just wonder what joy I get in it. And I’m like always super pumped up to talk about it with all my strength. 

I know there are many, like billions of people around the globe that play clash of clans.  But I haven’t really met any of them yet. But, I know that I could chat up with them though on the game, sadly some contents aren’t really up to my taste. But yeah. I wish I had more friends that loved Coc just like I do. Are there any clash of clans addicts too. If you are. Holla up here. Haha. Would love to hear about your addiction and feel the mutual excitement that we share for this awesome awesome awesome game. 

I told a friend the other day that I never felt more empowered like how I feel when I destroy some really great villages. Steal a huge amount of gold from them. Get the complete star (3 stars). And feel awesome lol. It just makes me feel badass. For those who haven’t played it yet. Trust me once you do, you are never going to stop. I’m pretty surprised that though I’m not a patient person ( you have to be with coc ). I am still addicted. Because I love this game so much, I’m really patient when it comes to the troops loading ( it doesn’t really take forever, but yes takes time). At first, I would get impatient and use up all my gems but then I realised I nedeed the gems to get more builders. Hahaha. If you are not a coc player…you might just be wondering what the hell she saying. Well coc rocks. I’m going to keep on playing till eternity. 
Have a nice day. #postaday

Mystery Blogger Award.  My first award.

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This Is my first ever nominatin for an award. Being a new blogger. What a way to keep me motivated and inspired. I started my blog about a month ago and I must say it has been amazing. Getting to know different inspiring bloggers and their wonderful blogs. I am blessed to be a part of this community. I would love to thank Ally L. mare for nominating me. He is an awesome blogger. An amazing writer. A publisher. He has published two poetry e-books. Do check out his blog and if you haven’t followed him. Do it !!

“Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion. – Okoto Enigma

I would love to thank Okoto Enigma for this amazing award that helps motivate bloggers to continue to inspire, helps bring bloggers together as a united community and also to support them. She is an amazing blogger and such an inspiration. Do check out her blog and follow her.

Rules:

  • Display the award logo/image on your blog
  • List the rules.
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to the nominator’s blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  • Answer 5 questions from the nominator
  • Nominate 10 -20 bloggers
  • Notify your nominees by leaving the nomination link in the “comment” of their blog
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice, with one weird or funny question (specify)
  • Share the link(s) to your best post(s)

Three things about me:

  • I am extremely competitive. 
  • I belly dance. 🙂 😉 ❤
  • I talk really loud and yes I have been asked once if I had loud speakers in my throat. Haha. 

 Questions:

1) Do you have a plan for everything or you just go with the flow? 

    Ans: Well, I try my best to have plans for certain things. But, definitely not everything. Most of the time, I do find myself going with the flow. Taking life as it comes. I do try my best though to have a plan for important things that I would want to achieve in life.

    2) Have you ever thought of the things               that made you special?

    Ans: Yes, my mind. The way I think. My hair definitely. My personality. My smile.

     3) If you plan to go for a movie, who is                in your mind to invite first?

    Ans: My best friend most definitely.

     4) Last embarrassing moment you had?

    Ans: I went for a singing audition and literally sounded like a frog lol.

    5) What do you think we need in order               to make the world better.

    Ans: We need love. Peace. Unity. If we all loved one another, live peacefully together and be united. The world would definitely be a better place to be in.

    My Nominees:

      My Questions:

      1. What inspires you to write ?
      2. If you were given an opportunity to make a change in the world ?What change would that be ? and why?
      3. What are your views on afterlife?
      4. What is the craziest thing you have done?
      5. What would you do if someone picked their nose in front of you? (haha) 

        My Best Post:

        This are some of my best post. Do check them out. 

        1) https://poetricksblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/15/a-womans-torment/?preview=true

        2) https://gracebey.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/i-decided-to-stop-dating/?preview=true

        3) https://gracebey.wordpress.com/2017/06/16/why-do-exs-come-back-when-you-already-moved-on/?preview=true

        4) https://poetricksblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/22/a-man/?preview=true

        5) https://poetricksblog.wordpress.com/2017/06/20/a-dark-place/?preview=true

        I couldn’t possibly Nominate everyone. But, if I didn’t. You are still amazing. Be you. Keep on writting. Keep inspiring. 🙂 ❤ ❤

        Finally barbie dolls we can all relate to. 

        Yes !!!!! Im so thrilled !!! Though i’m too old to play with barbie dolls anymore but as a child I didnt really care or saw it as anything except a doll that i could dress up and do crazy childish things with. This takes me back to the silly stuff i did. Well we all have been there ( I actually fed my dolls thinking they could eat , now that i think of it i was really wierd to think that way lol ). I wish they had thought about this before. Instead of creating one certain standard of beauty which was western looking. This definitely was the birth of stereotypes. Not having to see yourself in a barbie collection for sure gave the views that your look was inferior. With the media always glamourising this same notion too. Creating a doll for young kids need to be thought about with serious thoughts. Well, I must say I am pretty happy with the new diverse barbie collection. We can finally all relate to barbies because they don’t just have skinny bodies or straight hair anymore.  Yes, I have curly hair. And yes I am thrilled to see a barbie with curly hair. 

        A barbe with an afro. A chinese looking barbie. Basically they have done a great job. Now our future children can pick up barbies that look like them and feel beautiful to be the way they are. 

        The collections of barbie include all shapes, hair color, hair texture, facial features etc etc. Way to go people !!! How can we forget ken dolls who look just absolute perfection. The nerd ken, the boy-next-door ken, the dark skin/so-hot ken doll, the corporate ken doll etc etc. Yayyayayayyayayyayay.  I don’t know why I’m so excited. But yeah. I am excited. I feel like going to buy all of them. Well, I probably wouldn’t but I am tempted lol. 

        Beauty is not in the shape you carry. Beauty is not in the color you have. Nor the hair type. It is within. And I’m glad that barbie is changing it’s views too and encouraging beauty in diversity.

        A teenage boy raped, burnt, beaten for hours for being gay.

        T-Nhaveen, an 18 year old teenager was declared dead after sucumbing to his injuries. He was declared brain dead. Attacked by a group of school bullies outside a burger shop in southern suburb of George town in malaysia. He suffered brain damage before he died. A boy who had passion for music and was at his peak time for university was taken too young. 

        Though his sexuality hasn’t been revealed. But, sources say that he was bullied in school for being too soft and less macho. The attackers were a group of young men aged 16- 18 years old. He faced penetration in his anus likely to have been from a blunt object, burnt on his back and wounds to his groin. 

        How does someone sexuality or physical built make him worthy of such horrying treatment. Everytime I hear stories of such inhuman behaviour. I am still surprised at how humans can be so cruel. Why are teenagers heartless ? What are kids being taught at home or at school? Why are we not standing up for other people? It’s shocking that this happened in a public place but no one came to his aid. No one is bothered about a young child’s life, his family. It brings tears to my eyes. 

        What is more sad is that it is illegal to be gay in malaysia. Lgbt rights don’t make any difference there. It is even allowed to commit such crimes. Does being human not count for something ? Though 5 of his attackers were arrested and 3 are left to be caught. I wonder if justice will be served in a country that considers it illegal to be anything other than straight.

        My deepest sympathy goes to his devastated family. I wish justice for them in heaven and on earth. 

        Bullies need to be stopped. In schools and everywhere else. People need to be alert and observant.  When you spot a bully, stop them before they take an innocent child’s life. Bullies need to be punished and not taken lightly. Even if it’s in school. Do not let a bully be left unattended without being corrected because this is what they might end up doing. Taking away someone’s loving child. Stop a bully, when you see one. Don’t be a bully too.

        I decided to stop dating.

        Right from the age of 13 I have been in and out of several relationships. Back then it was more of a fun thing to do. You meet a boy you like, you start dating. Baam! We call eachother boyfriend and girlfriend. I never really had this feeling of depth to it. Most of the time, my relationships never went beyond a year because for me I approached relationships in a childish way.
        I would break up with a guy because he didn’t call me on my birthday. I really had my perception of a relationship in the wrong concept. After dating up to 20 something guys from 13 years to now 20 years old. I realised that I have actually never been alone. I was scared of being alone. Whenever I would decide to not get into another relationship, I would end up getting into one. I realised this had consumed me so much that I didn’t even know who I was. I couldn’t stand being with myself. I started thinking maybe I didn’t love me. 

        I started craving to get to know me. I wanted to be in a relationship with myself.  Many people would call me crazy but I needed to be alone. I prayed to God to help me. Yes, I did. It was that serious. It took God a while because I was still getting involved with guys. But, it took God to break me with the last guy i dated to get me out of the mess I was in. He made me realise that it was time. When God wants to get you out of something, he sometimes makes you go through the hard way. I was heart broken. But now I see the reason why it happened. I am in the best position I ever wanted to be. Growing my relationship with God. He is helping me to love myself.  To love my own company.  He has made me realise that In order for me to love someone else or be in a relationship with someone. I need to know what I want. I need to know me. I need to love me. Most of all I need to love him and I need to have a successful relationship with him. 
        Being single is not a misery. It is a gift. It gives you the opportunity  to get to know someone worth knowing that is yourself and God. It makes you productive. Helps you focus on being a better you. Sometimes, one needs to be alone to allow God to manifest in your life. Being alone helps God to teach you all you need to know about the perfect man he has in store for you. He makes you prepared and help you recognise the man that he has made to walk with you through life. As I wait for that man , God is by my side.

        Has anyone gone through this phase? Or is it just me. The I-don’t-want-to-date anymore-phase-because-I-want-to-date -myself. Or maybe everyone has a different reason why they don’t date anymore. This is just my reason.

        Cruel children left dog to die after covering him in glue.

        I still get shocked when I hear something like this happen. I wonder why? What has this animal done to deserve this traumatic treatment. More suprising when it is from kids. Like how were this kids raised by their parents to be able to feel nothing when they cause another living thing to suffer. What are their parents teaching them at home? 


        Pascal was found at an industrial estate in instantly, Turkey. He was left to die after being dipped from head to toe in glue and thrown into a mud pit. A stray dog left to die without any valid reason as to what crime he had done. He was traumatised and alone. 

        He was found by He’Art of rescue charity where he was nursed back to life. A month of being rescued, Pascal had an amazing fast recover and is being showered with lots of love from the staff of He’Art of rescue. Definitely there are angels still in this world. 


        Also, a fighter. Pascal has fought his way out of Parva. He is fully cured. What an amazing fighter. He has also found a new friend and is getting back his energy. A beautiful family is been looked out for him. 


        I’m so thankful that someone tooked care of him. Everyone deserves a chance at life. Stop hurting animals. Parents get involved in the lives of your children to know what they are doing. I pray for justice and peace in this our crazy world. Please do send your support in little ways you can to the He’Art of rescue charity for the awesome work they are doing. 

        I’m just not into birthdays anymore. 

        Yesteryday was my birthday. June,19th, 2017. Yeah! Wohooo!. There was once upon a time where birthdays mattered a lot. I would be counting the days as it was getting closer and closer. The rush you get from the wait is something that I can’t describe. So much anxiety. Lol. I would already start thinking about people who are supposed to wish me without fail.

         

        If they forgot, yes they would be in deep trouble with me ( such intensity). The birthday gifts are the best of all. You want everyone to give you presents. You pray to God, give him a list of things you want him to make people to give you. Ha. Funny I know. But when you get older. Is it getting less exciting? Do you wakeup not even remembering sometimes until you get people wishes on your phone or on facebook? Then you realise oh! Oops! It’s my birth day!  Then you go back to your routing for the day. I wokeup not feeling like anything special. Birthdays are overrated now. I went to college. Had my friends wish me. Came home. Replied to all my birthday wishes ( thank God people remembered hahahaha). Cut the cake with family. Went to sleep early. Well, it went good. Not much drama. Just very simple and nice. Maybe it’s because of age I feel this way. But I guess everyone is different. It’s not that I don’t recognise it but I can do without it. A friend told me that she decided to not have her birthday date on facebook so that peoplw dont know but on her birthday no one wished her ( yeah people get to know your birthday because of the Facebook notification lol, thank you facebook) and she felt really bad. I guess maybe if people didn’t wish me I would feel bad. But, I feel less attached to my birthday as I’m getting older.

         

        Some people don’t even acknowledge it ( people like my father who wouldn’t wish me because he didn’t believe in it and when we cut the cake in front of him. He still didn’t sing) . So that is to show that there are people who don’t even want to acknowledge it. But we still have to respect their decision. Birthdays are awesome. But I guess growing up isn’t.  You gain more responsibility.  Pepole will remind you how old you are when you do something immature.  You can’t act immature no more. Atleast that is what I think. I feel I have gained another year which means more maturity. More reasons to be responsible. I don’t know if it is what happens when you cross your 20 and you start thinking philosophical about everything and anything. So yeah. I’m just not into birthdays anymore. But, I love to eat my chocolate almond cakes. Ha.

        Why a woman shouldn’t say yes to living in relationships.

        Yes, this is to all my ladies out there. I just want to share my views on living in relationships in a woman’s perspective. Hey hey, I’m living with my boo. That’s oh! You are so lucky!. Why ladies? Just why? I’m pretty sure there is no lady out there that hasn’t dreamt of what she would wear on her wedding day. What her dress would look like? How her perfect dream man would propose to her in a fairytale arrangement. 

        No doubt that we women think about this. Now I know some ladies love the fact that they can takecare of their man, cook for him, be the perfect woman he could ever want. But, why are you in a hurry woman ?? Why you taking the role of a wife before he popped the question or even think of getting married to you? 

        This just amazes me. Yes, some might get lucky. But most of us just sit and wait. And wait. And wait.  Till we get past 10 abortions, bruised eyes, emotionally drained, manipulation, physically spent etc etc to finally see clearly that we have been wasting years praying that he would pop the question. Finally when you break up with him. He gets married to his perfect dream girl in just months of dating. 

        Ironic, you think. But, why would you think he was going to marry you in the first place. When you put him in a comfortable and the best position ever. He gets his regular sex when needed. He gets you to cook for him. Etc You shown him your self worth is just nothing but if he treated you like his wife, he didn’t have to marry you. Since you already got him acting like your husband without popping the question. Then why you get mad when he hasn’t asked you to marry him? Then don’t get upset if he pops the question to someone who he thinks actually wants to get matried.  Isn’t it so obvious that he thinks you dont care about the ring on the finger. Stop decieving yourself if you do care about him putting a ring on your finger and move out of the house. Asap. Ladies, Don’t let him dry you up that you have no more surprises left. A man wants a woman that would make he run the miles. That wouldn’t be easy. That would respect herself. Have values. A woman that knows what she wants. And what is this generation turning into.? I have a friend. She is 19 year old. Already living with her 25 year old boyfriend. Like girlfriend, you have 25 years till forever ( I guess the age women start thinking of marriage or get married.  ) yes till forever to be a wifey. Why rush into it so soon? Having risk of getting yourself pregnant and abortion is the next option because you are too scared to be a young mama.

         And your boyfriend is too scared to be a father. But funnily both of y’all are not scared to have sex. How do you want to live everyday getting pregnancy scares. Its stressful. A man that is okay with you aborting a baby has no intention of marrying you. 

        If you made the mistake once, don’t make the same mistake twice. He isn’t the right man for you. Break up with him. Ladies, we need to stop being so easy. Hold yourself well. Because at the end of the day a man will marry someone who he respects. Be carefull. Stay safe. Do what is right.

        Why do ex’s come back when you already moved on.?

        Yes, even though I have dated a lot of guys. ( I’m not proud of the long list) but yeah i still get surprises that no matter how many times I have broken up with a guy. They never come back when I want them to. 

        It is totally when I have moved on they walk back into my life. Before, I would get paranoid and think maybe they were watching me. Maybe, they could see me from wherever they were or they had super powers or something. Maybe they got a notification saying she has moved on. Go get her !! Right now!!! So you can make her remember the wounds and the hurt. Funny thing is they haven’t change. Still possess those reasons why you broke up in the first place. Some just come back just to show up once in a while, to see if you still have feelings towards them. They just want to know. The joy I guess they get from it. I had an ex who I knew the exact time and period he would show up. Saying he wanted me back and if I said no, he would get angry and say mean stuff. Tell me he would never come back. 

        But then after a series of repeated behaviour, I figured it’s just going to be same old same old. I just had to say no then have him flip and say the same thing, then dissappear. It’s so crazy how I use to get so manipulated. 

        I thought them coming back meant that things would be different. But, say no to an ex and he would remind you exactly why it didn’t work out. I’m sure everyone experiences this. If you haven’t. I don’t know why. 


        But, I have pretty much grown up so much to the extent that I don’t take back exes. When you leave. You go forever. There is no way back to me. It’s just a one time chance to get it right. Experience is the best teacher.